Behavioral HR Insights
Apr 19, 2024
- They know empathy is not the same as sympathy.
Many people often confuse sympathy with empathy, but they are two different things entirely. Sympathy is just the act of feeling pity for someone else. Empathy, on the other hand, has a deeper and more complex meaning. It’s a set of mental processes that enables you to understand other people’s emotional states and feel exactly how they are feeling with the aim of reducing their pain and suffering.
To be empathic means to put yourself in another person’s shoes. For example, as an empathetic leader, if someone under you is nervous about a forthcoming project, then you, too, will be nervous. You have the same feelings as them. Emotionally intelligent individuals understand the distinctive properties that set empathy apart from sympathy.
- They recognize the different types of empathy.
Empathy is a complex process involving various regions of the brain and body. It can be categorized into two types: emotional empathy and cognitive empathy. Emotional empathy is an innate form of empathy that is dependent on the limbic areas of the brain. It’s an instinctive and immediate form of empathy that we can feel without even knowing or thinking about it.
Cognitive empathy is a newer form of empathy, and only humans can feel this second form of empathy, unlike emotional empathy, which some other non-humans also have. This type of empathy does not happen unconsciously, and it’s also referred to as perspective-taking.
People with high emotional intelligence understand the two different types of empathy and employ both to achieve the best results.
- They know there are limits to empathy.
While it’s good to feel for others, total empathy is not a solution. Having an excessive amount of empathy in every situation is not always beneficial. According to Paul Bloom, a psychology expert at Yale University, when someone has an overwhelming sense of empathy, it can narrow their perspective and make them develop a biased outlook. Excessive empathy can make you focus on smaller, emotionally charged issues while neglecting bigger, more important problems.
As a leader, there are certain situations where you need to show empathy and situations where you have to make rational decisions without any emotions. High-EQ people are aware of the limits of empathy and take action when the need arises.
- They know emotions are important.
The idea that emotions are bad emanated from some ancient belief systems. For instance, in stoic philosophy, emotions (which are referred to as passions) are seen as an excessive manifestation of hedonism and the main reason for human suffering and distress. For stoic believers, a good, virtuous life is one that is devoid of emotions. But this is untrue.
Over the last few decades, studies in the fields of neuroscience and psychology have shown that emotions play a crucial role in basic human functioning. In fact, the ability to think clearly and make sensible decisions depends on our emotions.
- They know why they have emotions.
Many people may be wondering why humans have emotions and what roles they play. In the words of Dutch Psychologist Nico Frijda, “Emotions are for action.” Our external behaviors are intricately shaped by our internal emotional experiences. The word “emotion” itself is derived from the Latin word “emovir,” which means “to move.” So, it’s safe to say that our emotions move us. Individuals with high emotional intelligence can recognize when their actions are being influenced by their emotional state. They also understand the behaviors exhibited by others.
- They understand the intricacy of human emotions.
The spectrum of human emotions extends beyond the basic feelings of happiness and sadness. Emotionally savvy people can discern the little distinctions between feeling and affective states. They also understand that various situations will evoke nuanced emotional expressions and that every individual may react in a slightly different way.
To better understand these subtle differences, think of our emotions as existing within a two-dimensional circumplex, where one is for arousal, and the other is for valence. Using this emotional map, you can easily determine the precise location of a specific emotion. For instance, the feeling of being bored, sad, or depressed means you are in a low arousal, low variance state while being anxious, frightened, or panicky indicates a high arousal and low valence state.
- They appreciate negative emotions.
We humans categorize our emotions as negative and positive, but there’s no such thing as good or bad emotions. The reason we experience a certain emotion is because it has enabled our forebearers to deal with some issues. Every emotion, positive or negative, helps us adapt to certain conditions.
For instance, anxiety is only your brain’s way of telling you to beware of any potential threats or dangers in your surroundings. Sure, some people may experience an extreme level of anxiety, but knowing why you are feeling this emotion will allow you to adjust and move forward.
- They envision how emotions will influence their future actions.
People with average or low EQ do not often consider how emotions will impact their future actions, causing them to make bad decisions. This tendency reflects an inherent bias known as the affective forecasting error. Conversely, individuals with high emotional intelligence plan and predict their actions better since they understand that emotion can shape their behaviors and decisions.
- They know and categorize the causes of their emotional experiences.
The cause of an emotion can either be integral or incidental, and it’s important to understand the distinction between the two. Integral emotions are those that result from a situation and which the individual knows have to do with that particular situation. An incidental emotion is exactly the opposite. It is when a feeling created by one situation gets carried over into another and starts having an impact. This is very common for people with low EQ, and it often occurs without them knowing. A typical example is when someone comes home with anger caused by something that happens in their workplace.
Emotionally intelligent people can recognize whether a feeling is integral or incidental and adjust their behavior as necessary.